TIME TO WAKE UP AND SMELL THE COFFEE |
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click this ★ パク; Aspiring graphic designer. Drawing sketching, sleeping, collecting things, and listening to music. Loud, bitchy and whiny. Looks angry 98% of the time. Spends most of $$$ on magazines. Salty > sweet. Eats and talks too much. Loses interest in things very quickly. Makes dumb puns.♪ ムック, FAKE?, 氣志團, +D'espairsRay+, L'Arc~en~Ciel, Girugamesh, Pierrot, deadman, BUCK-TICK, D. ▒ タッキー＆翼, ENDLICHERI☆ENDLICHERI, 嵐, KINKI KIDS, TOKIO
▓ hiderock design, no future, SEX POT ReVenGe, Sexy Dynamite London, Algonquins, Hell Cat Punks, h.ANARCHY, Alice and the Pirates, everything nautical/pirate, stripes, plaid, silver/bronze accessories, smoking, stupid graphic design trends (specifically: blue hue, make-people-look-oily, radioactive colors, generally: abuse of selective color), underage drinking, r&b, hip hop, rap... or at least the people who blast the shit, morning musume, radio songs, kat-tun/news/kanjani8 fangirldom, hey! say! 7/jump or whatever the fuck, tila tequila, myspace whores in general, stupid western dramas with sex and drinking and shit, korean boybands, batshit crazy fans like suju elf-fantards, trendwhores, people who think i'm actually a lesbian and act like they've never seen one before, homophobia AND pro-homo chauvinists, THE HEAT and a lot... LOT more. i'm a hater. :D but i'm a lover too! |
| Wednesday, March 23, 2011 { }i had an incredibly disturbing dream. i dreamt that a charismatic/famous-ish boy (who was in both diego's [childhood friend] and miley cyrus's families) was dying later. cried when he did. me and someone. forget who. now here's where i know he's a cyrus: his father was sad about the kid's death. said he didn't have anyone to cuddle with now that miley's busy and his son was dead. by cuddle, the connotation was... sexual. when he did, some people were talking about another boy who was hated. his family apparently ripped out his intestines while he slept and let him die at the dinner table, where he bled through his mouth. dreamt a bit about bat po and a super market. i borrowed her stuff apparently for something... while i wrote my essay. i only wrote 2/3 a page and i apparently had 3 pages. this was for my old philosophy class apparently? same professor. bat po had an obsession with japanese strawberry soda i remembered and i was straining grapes in water to make them into something. they drained... but were still smooth. like those car freshener beads. i went to class... but it was high school-like. was working on my paper in a math class, but luu wasn't there. he was my last actual math class aside from stats. it was 5-7pm, sun was setting. oh i kind of remember now. i borrowed bat po's backpack supposedly for her laptop. i suppose. anyway... i went downstairs near the engineering buildings in riverside. near UNLH and engineering, between. i was waiting... instead of doing my paper, which was apparently due in 10 minutes. this guy who looked like maki was talking to me, and handed me a paper with his name. because he wanted to be my friend. i went off to hang out with steven, martin, etc. later, the setting became from dark blue to orange-y sunset. then i realized i needed to turn in my (incomplete) paper. i went to the bungalow i needed to go to... looking for the room 172. all were occupied by classes i didn't know and some were taking exams... what looked like important exams. in bungalows that fit no more than 20-25 people. and these bungalows looked like the ones in chinese school. i went to the other side, where the middle aisles opened up to on the otherwise (middle had two doors on both sides). all doors were open so i was able to see everything. all the classes were math or science related. i had about 10 minutes left of class and i couldn't find my class. it was apparently 8-10th week of school, i don't know when exactly. i remember thinking... "fck i have sociology today. why'd i skip it? what was i doing?" i was with friends... the night before. talking about that kid who died. we were all situated in our house in riverside apparently (which is not anyone's actual house afaik) and i had to share a blanket with allen. bat po went to buy that japanese strawberry soda at a market. i bought some kind of cream soda. my dream's beginning to fade. i was outside working on another paper apparently. outside of my supposed riverside home. was on the table, my stuff was outside. bat po lived with me, was bringing her stuff out to work on something else as well. suddenly i see bizarre looking paper airplane-sized brown and deep green planes zooming around. i saw hummingbird-sized ones get extremely close to us, hovering around us. i decided to bring my stuff in, and bat po did as well. soon the sky was "filled" (not rly filled, but a lot of groups of airplanes appeared around homes) with these weird planes and blimp-sized ones would hover as the small paper aiplane-sized and actual plane-sized planes went around seemingly watching people. i remember holding up a yellow/red one... saying "if only mine still flew :D" i went inside, steven apparently lived with us. was getting water. ashley lee did too, for some reason. she went out and cleaned the tables. with dusters and such. soon enough, a weird bot stomped over to our porch and watched ashley clean. this was the government, apparently. the government was watching us.
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| Wednesday, March 2, 2011 { no balance }i don't know what to do. i'm either too much or too little. i don't know what "middleground" is. i just wish i could find a good balance. i want to make you happy. i want to be happy.
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| Friday, January 14, 2011 { michael jackson's "michael" }his new album isn't anything special, but i love it. perhaps because its release falls on a new chapter in my life. seriously it's a shame he's gone. his voice... irreplaceable.
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| Saturday, September 25, 2010 { LHC }are his initials. he's aggressive, yet lax. he's musical and knows how to play both acoustic and electric guitar. he especially loves guitar work. appreciates a lot of genres, though he doesn't care to nitpick. likes what he likes. was in a band. can sing. he's intelligent and witty. (and snarky) he's independent. "manly," if you will. he loves to cook and clean. he's extremely funny and has an infectious laugh. he has an amazing voice. he's tall. about 4 inches taller than me. he's extremely observative... and seems to be forgetful, but clearly remembers a lot of the things we shared together. he remembers me. he's out of my reach, and i can't stop pursuing until i have closure. he's breaking my heart.
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| Friday, March 19, 2010 { ... }idk lol
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| Monday, March 15, 2010 { ken lloyd +100. }i always listen to fake? when i'm down. and when i'm happy. i don't know how ken always does it. apparently my overanalyzing and such was from that time of the month. thankfully. but i can't help but... still hate that i feel this way. side note: i really need the lyrics for all the new songs. tired of trying to decipher ken's funky english.
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| Sunday, February 28, 2010 { wrapped with love }
but um, i tried wrapped with love by hilary duff and it's actually really nice. i mean, on those sample sheets... it doesn't smell too great. but on my own skin, it smells nice. i'm considering buying it. the bottle is kinda girly, but i don't give a shit that it's hilary duff, really. people who refuse to wear celebrity perfume JUST because it's made by a celebrity are really stupidly narrow-minded. if it's nice, who cares? i mean, it's fine if it's someone you hate (like me, i hate avril lavigne and her perfume sucks balls, but i bought a tank by her just yesterday. rofl) so long as it's nice. i think 2 of paris hilton's old fragrances were really nice. i don't remember the names, sadly. i'd buy them if i remembered. need to smell'em again.
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so i've always loved perfumes and such, but was never one to wear them often. ever since freshwater cucumber was taken off the shelves, idk. just couldn't find a nice light floral fragrance that suited my taste. | Monday, February 22, 2010 { lol being a hater again }oh man, this one girl in jpns class who i don't exactly... hate? nor do i particularly like... she uhh. she did her... project on KAT-TUN and her... group. her community. thing. i don't get it. um. for japanese, we're supposed to do an oral presentation on something japanese. obviously. after a couple failed attempts at getting her own url right, she linked to this. AND ENTIRE PAGE OF SMUT FICS AND SHOUNEN AI SHIT AND BLAH BLARRRGGGHH. lolwut, i'd be damn embarrassed to be associated with that. really, i like my share of shounen ai and embarrassing stuff, but she... linked it. what. and what the hell is her group supposed to be anyway? i thought perhaps it was one of those singing groups or dance groups. but... apparently not. what. i don't get it. apparently, they... write about KAT-TUN. obviously. but... they have their own universe for then. or something. from what little i've gathered on her page and the community page. long story short: what the fuck is the point in making a community like that, and what the fuck was the point in her presentation. ?_?
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| Monday, February 22, 2010 { }i guess i have to admit it, i sorta like him. at least to an extent. it's really impossible to deny it now. i had a dream that we were on a couch... well, i was standing in front of them as they were sitting on a couch. my roommates weren't the ones i have now. some dude, some pretty girl, some other cute girl, i guess. etc. anyway, he-who-must-not-be-named sat on the right, the roommate dude sat in the middle, cute girl sat on the left. some other roommate (apparently) sat on the arm of the couch. right. the pretty girl was really good at singing. cute girl, not so much, but she was cute. and foreign. like european i suppose. he-who-must-not-be-named thought it was utterly adorable when she croaked/sang... leaned over and kissed her. dude, i was pissed. not even joking. pissed like beyond pissed. i pretended it was nothing and walked off to my room... with lady gaga's bad romance in the background. the fuck? and when i went to my room, i'd just moved in, so it was messy as hell. there were painters in my room... and my room was freshly painted offwhite. they unplugged my laptop because it was in the way. i've never had such a BLUNT dream. like so blatantly "you like him, and you're pissed." when i liked him, i had a dream of... close friendship. like, i didn't feel anything in the dream with him, even though it was so... naked. it wasn't sexual at all. it just felt like... kinship. i felt... content. happy. though i knew it wasn't meant to be, since our personalities and interests didn't mesh well enough to be possible. yeah, we liked similar things, but there were a lot of off times. NOTHING like this has ever happened. nothing. this is stupid. really, really stupid. maybe because i know we work well together. because we like similar things. our sense of humor is similar. and other crap i don't want to mention... this is retarded... this is all i can say about it. fuck this. i hate that i'm so jealous and possessive over someone who doesn't value me the same way i value them. fuck being jealous. it's such a pain.
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| Sunday, February 21, 2010 { i'm not sorry. }i'm sorry i'm not some mysterious flower. i'm sorry i don't act like an adorable girly girl. i'm sorry i say what i want. i'm sorry i'm blunt and speak my mind when necessary.
i'm sorry i don't act like your ideal girl. i'm sorry i'm not some ditzy i'm sorry i'm not pretty. i'm sorry i'm not as thin as you'd like. i'm sorry i don't wear make-up. i'm sorry i'm not some manipulative 2-face who can't stop bugging people about their affairs with others. i'm sorry i seem cold when i talk, and that i don't make you feel warm inside when i talk with you. i'm sorry.
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| Sunday, February 21, 2010 { }lately, i've just wanted to sleep my life away. no, i'm not suicidal. i don't believe in wasting life. but my dreams are more worthwhile than my real life atm. i have no purpose. i have no direction. no ambition. no passion. nothing. all thanks to the shithole of a university i have. it doesn't fit me. the classes, the majors. nothing. the advisors are utter useless douchebags. they advertise UCR as the ONE UC that actually cares, but it's a fucking lie. i wish i went to PCC. i'd have hope for my situation. i LIKE that school. fuck if i care if it's a community college, i can easily transfer to a "reputable university" if my grades were good. my moral is low. my ambition is nil. i don't know what i want to do in life. i have no one to talk with this about. my focus is nonexistent. i have too many strong likes and dislikes.
i'm artistic, but i want to make money. the fuck can i do? i can't excel in anything i don't like. i'm not programmed to persevere in such situations. i'm like a spoiled brat in every way possible. i expect things to come easily to me. what the fuck can i do? this shithole of a school has wrecked me for life. i want to get the fuck out. i need some good influences. i love my friends, but i need AMBITION. i can't just idle around like some drone. i can't keep hiding on GE. GE isn't to blame, it's an escape. if i were happy in the real world, though, i wouldn't GE nearly as much. but i'm just so fuckin unhappy. no role models to inspire me. no ambitious friends, except for frank, but he doesn't have time to teach some idiot how to manage time and find ambition. everything about this school is such a festering shithole. god, i wish i had some direction in life. it's too depressing. i want to go out and study somewhere else. get the fuck away from that place.
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| Monday, February 8, 2010 { }the only thing i want is someone to talk with. someone to confide in. lately, it's me who's been listening to other people's problems. well, not lately, it's always been this way. i hate it. i'm really sick and tired of listening to love problems, love this love that, personal problems, drama, etc. FOR ONCE, i'd like someone to listen to me talk my fucking heart out. for once. not my stupid little complaints. the usual crap. no, my REAL problems. the problems that i've been struggling with all this time. i'm really tired and exhausted. i really wish i didn't come to this school. side note: and the people who've i've spoken briefly to about my problems don't really... respond how i want? like fuck, i need someone to lean on sometimes. yeah, i complain a lot? but i have REAL problems that REALLY bother me. i'm fucking human. some empathy would be nice. not "oh" or "oh really? *sad face*" does anyone take me seriously? ANYONE? maybe i just don't... make the right friends. i mean, i can't even talk to them. i can't talk to anyone. it's nothing that requires a therapist (i hope), but it's shit that's affecting my studying, sleeping, and... just, everything? i can't function properly anymore. i can't game with a peace of mind. i can't do my homework properly. i can't absorb my study materials. I CAN'T DO ANYTHING. this year has gone to shit and it hasn't even started yet. i fucking hate 2010 already. really, i tried to be realistic about it. "mum's just superstitious. mehh" but really, it's been such a fucking awful year so far. i don't know how i'm going to survive this year. academically and... in general. emotionally, mentally, physically exhausted. i hate people, too. like, i can't make any friends whose company i can enjoy for more than 10 minutes. i've always been an introvert, but come on. this is bad.
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| Monday, January 18, 2010 { }i hate that i'm always attracted to/like (in general) the same kind of people. like really? why? i normally hate these kinds of people, so why the hell is it that i get along with them so well? arrogant, egocentric, somewhat two-faced, appears mellow/chill but isn't once you get to know them, selfish, a bit... clueless?, highly intellectual, highly opinionated, rebellious, mildly antisocial/highly selective with whom they associate with, irritable to a degree, can be really scary when angry, somewhat manipulative, etc. note, most of this describes like at least 4 people i know. i always seem to get along with these people, and i always like them a lot. i hold them in a high regard. but at the same time, i also like like people with these descriptions. if you know what i mean. and why the hell do i like these people? no clue. i mean, frankly, i'd prefer if i liked someone who could "put me in my place." because i can be extremely manipulative and bossy, so... but really. maybe intuitively, i know what type would get along with me best. a mellow person who acts kind of like a doormat? would not fit with me. because i haven't grown yet, and i honestly need "controlling" (to a degree. i hate being controlled, but someone to point me in the right direction when my focus falters = ace). and personally, a person who allows himself to get stepped all over on = no thanks. at the same time though, they have to be reasonable? i mean, if i'm in the right, i'd prefer that they can see that. someone reasonably and sensibly assertive, i guess i should say. i guess what i mean to say is someone who appears mellow and IS mellow most of the time, but has attributes like ↑↑, i somehow mesh well with them. of course, some are a bit too angry... or others, too selfish. etc. but the general idea. i forgot to mention, these people can also be (when i get to know them): generous, kind, friendly, bashful, etc. and other various adjectives that don't fit for all the people i'm referring to. an example would be adrian. i argue with him about everything, talk to him about everything. and we're really loud about it. but i never get angry at him. and he's a really fun friend. i get along with people who can banter with me without getting upset. and plus, he tries to push me to do the right thing (like when i'm being lazy with homework). i seem to love having friends like this, but sometimes i end up liking them a bit too much. (not adrian, but he's a really good example of the kind of person i'm describing). at the same time though, i have to be able to talk about serious things with them. so far, not many with "that" personality can... maybe a few. and obviously, i'll mature and act less stupid, therefore the person i'm with can't always be a loudmouth person i'll argue with 24/7. i mean, the thing is, they have to respect me is the core issue. respect that while i'm a goof, i'm also someone who appreciates "intellectual" stuff. i have a "type" in terms of looks as well, but... i'm not so picky that they HAVE to fall into my "type" for me to like them. as long as they're attractive (to me). i like good hair, but nothing overdone. overdone, it looks really flashy, girly and blagh too me. a toned down version of this is good or like this semi-permed style. or this. i really like naturally permed hair too. REALLY short hair... hmmm. this is kinda short. lolol didn't mean for tsubasa to be the model. D: coincidence. but anyway, that kind of hair with like the "tails" a bit longer. i guess. blaaahhh idk what i'm saying.
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| Monday, January 18, 2010 { ... }i had a dream that i only joined taiko to get my weekly exercise. and that they found out and threw a fit about a greater being. err then i had a dream that my dad... was like... a super hero. and tried to buy a gift for my mum. wut? we stalked mum to the store she always goes to, and i checked to see if she was at her usual store. she was, with fenny as usual. uhhh... but it looked like she spotted us, so me and my mui went down to the other area to look at rock vendors. they had mushy rocks again. my dad was pacing. it was weird. :/ my cousins were in my dream at some point as well, i think we spent the day with them. i also had a dream that... i had to take care of a rich family's kids for a while. but it was bizarre... i felt like it was someone from the future. not me? not my ethnicity. but someone in the future... they were talking about their bills and the sacrifices they made. (but they're still rich and happy?) oh and i remember trying not to cuss in front of my dad and my mui trying too... and me hoping he wouldn't see my notes in class (which don't have profanity, but apparently in my dream, they did?). interesting dreams.
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| Thursday, December 31, 2009 { um... }3 mins till new year, i'll make it fast. i hate the fact that i'm so possessive and jealous. over everything. jesus christ, why? this is stupid.
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| Thursday, December 31, 2009 { ...drummer. DRUMMER. DRUMMING. DRUMMING. GUUHHHH }
i am in love. it was "hmmm interesting" at first, then "wow..." after 4-5 listens. still listening. ♥
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| Saturday, December 26, 2009 { }i had a bizarre dream. basically, i was working on a project with an old classmate and friend... geovanni. the one with the thickest glasses on earth and head the shape of stewie's. and he had his own... stickers and banners for himself. advertising himself as an awesome guy? :/... and idk, it was bizarre... then i had a dream i was in a universal studios type of amusement park with my mum and bro. my mum kept telling us not to get near the railing or glass or we'd fall. and some stuff about... crabs... for sale... idk
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| Wednesday, December 23, 2009 { cool beans }i really find this amusing about myself: i can stop liking someone EXTREMELY EASILY. D: not even kidding how fast i stop caring. rofl.
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| Wednesday, December 23, 2009 { the hell is wrong with me }i like how i know what i want, but refuse to chase after it. in fact, i even sabotage my own chances of getting it. but at the same time, putting myself out there has some serious backlash: i'm inept at portraying myself in the light that i'd intended, and sabotage myself EVEN MORE. i'm doomed to never getting what i want. this much is clear, and my sad reality.
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| Saturday, December 12, 2009 { kyo-sama~!!!!!!!1111111111!! m/ }
*Angelic_Marionette* of jref.com: YEA! i finally agree with Illaparatzo-sama!!! i hate MUCC..and i dont like Kagerou...or w/e! . for some reason. i think most of the newer vocalists of newer visual bands are taking Kyo-sama from Dir en grey's look. its odd. but anyway! i dont like them! and that band Gagzette or however you spell it..they are the same! .....AND SHULLA TO! that guy looks alot like Kyo!! no like ...! o well..... [i think Nightmare...is....kinda kool tho.dont know em well tho] heheI LIKE HOW IT'S ALL ABOUT LOOKS (BEING THE BASIS OF WHETHER OR NOT SHE LIKES A BAND). AND LOL @ TATS COPYING KYO? REALLY? REALLY? ROFL. try asking atsushi for his opinion on this. or buck-tick as a whole, for that matter. some people also said mucc were nu-metal? note that the year of this thread is 2004. kushiki no tou was their latest stuff... which is hardly "nu-metal." you CAN say mucc is nu-metal NOW, but in 2004? uhhhhh... i don't hear it, bud. btw i'm still pissed that their new stuff is so blatantly american. god, i just want heavy, not-american mucc back.
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| Wednesday, December 9, 2009 { }
Here we go...OH MY GOD. i... rofl. fuck. wow. these guys are... idek.
Congratulations to the three who recieved Satochi's first petas! (laugh)reading their blogs reminds me of how fuckin awesome they are. and they're the best. end of story. yukke going to satochi's place. MORE PROOF
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| Saturday, December 5, 2009 { }chris crocker is damn amusing and people who take his videos too seriously are fuckin insane. he seems like he'd be a good friend too. lol
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| Sunday, November 22, 2009 { }i don't understand why i feel unhappy when things are going well for me. i feel like i've let down the 5 year old me. i had high expectations. everyone had high expectations. looking around at the vk people in riverside, they seem so much more happy and confident than me. i'm not vk, but obviously i like it is what i'm saying. even that girl who i "hate." not really, it's more her friends, of whom only 1 i remember. i can't exactly hate someone i don't know at all. especially since she seems nice, despite her attitude (and i have an attitude as well, so i can't... "blame" her?) i mean like jessica, i was bored and decided to look at her pics (i've never looked at her pics before. LOL you'd think i would by now, since i've known her for a while). she looks so cool and, well, happy. i wish i could look good and be happy. i honestly believe a huge issue with my confidence is my appearance (not clothes-wise, hair/skin/weight). if i could lose just 20 lbs, i'd be really damn happy. i'd be far more healthy and i'd be happier. it's superficial, but i could care less. as for hair, i just haven't decided on a cut yet. preferably something less intensely thick, which wasn't what i intended in the first place. :[ god, i just... don't know what to say anymore.
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| Saturday, November 21, 2009 { }wow. it can't get anymore obvious that tatsurou is extremely influenced by ats. i know, it's a BT song, but i mean... it sounds so MUCC-LIKE in terms of arrangement and vocals. ESPECIALLY VOCALS. mucc is clearly influenced by BT too. and i love it. tats and his huge mancrush on ats. ♥ i wonder if they've ever met? god, i can only imagine how fanboyish tats would get. he'd probably be pining and ♥_♥ eyed and FUUUCKKK THAT IS ONE INTERVIEW I DEFINITELY WANT TO READ.
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| Sunday, October 25, 2009 { lol one piece is serious business }of course you're entitled to your opinion; i am too. but lol um Yeah, This is probably the most grossly overrated manga EVER. It is freaking terrible. The art is god AWFUL. The story is generic at best. I don't see what's original about [insert shonen hero of a certain character class] wants to find [insert legendary item] so he can be best of [insert character class]. The characters are all really poorly designed. Also, One Piece just isn't cool like so many other SJ mangas. The characters and their powers are just plain lame. I could see a five year old liking this but nobody above that age should consider this crap.1. since when was one piece supposed to be super srs business? 2. miyazaki has "childish" movies, why the fuck are they so popular amongst people of ALL ages? yes i fuckin compared miyazaki to one piece in that their "dynamics" are "childish." apparently. 2b. lol a child would not understand one piece in its entirety. but of course kids enjoy it, it's a universal series that caters to people of ALL ages. 3. IT'S SHOUNEN. DO YOU KNOW WHAT SHOUNEN IS? HACK AND SLASH, HEROES, GENERIC THEMES, THE WORKS. go read bleach or naruto if you want "hardcore" shounen with death and anguish and emo and melodramatic characters and 30k fillers. go have fun with that. 4. do you live in japan? because frankly the only reason i can think of for your blatant vendetta against one piece is because you're IN japan and genuinely hate the fact that it moves japan more than narutardz and blecckk does. because in america, one piece is beyond underrated. 5. ONE PIECE IS SRS BUSINESS??? i'm not pissed or anything and my "arguments" (more like... musings?) against this comment are sarcastic at best, but i mean i can't understand why anyone would hate on one piece to this degree. of course some people were let down by it. yes, it's reptitive sometimes. sure, sometimes the characters aren't as ~deep and profound~ as you'd prefer. yes, the ending for thriller bark was shitty. but there is a reason it's been running for so long. it's a light read, enjoyable for people of all ages, isn't too emotastic, and it's about adventure. the process of reaching their goals. their struggles with failures and successes. and yes, while it's annoying that some of the battle schematics are overly repetitive, it doesn't take away from the story as a whole. how everything unfolds in such an even pace (except for the thriller bark ending, which still pisses me off). it's one of the several charms of one piece. and if you don't like it, sure, that's your opinion. it's the same for naruto and bleach. naruto still has a place in my heart. it, along with one piece, was among the first few manga series' i fell in love with. naruto, with its flaws and all, is as popular as it is for ITS reasons. i might not like it as much as i did, and it might be 2000x more boring for me than one piece is, but i can't deny that i had loved it at some point, and still intend to pick it up once again. as for bleach, it sucks and annoys me. but it's popular for a reason, i admit. what the fuck am i trying to say with this babbling bullshit? IT'S YOUR OPINION. do not make blanket statements about fans as if one piece. this is my blog of course, not a review on a site for millions of people to read and take note of. making overtly slanderous reviews is just fucked. i wouldn't go out of my way to post on the bleach page "I HATE BLEACH. IT BORED THE HELL OUT OF ME AND IT HAS NO SUBSTANCE. THE CHARACTERS ARE GENERIC, ETC." which is essentially what the review said. please have some tact in writing reviews. be a douchebag elsewhere, like on 4chan or something. troll. ps. i don't know how to explain my argument properly, but i hope someone gets the gist of what i'm trying to say.
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| Thursday, October 22, 2009 { }my friends are great and i like them all (or almost all) a lot, but i'm so glad i finally have some time to MYSELF. some alone time. all week, i'd been busy with friends or busy in some sort of thing that involves socializing. i've never been more content in college... but honestly. i'm so glad i'm alone right now. i can hear myself think (over the loud mucc blasting lol). and plus, i need to study for econ. i just wish my apartment mates weren't home as well. lol i'd go out to the living room, watch HGTV, make noodles... i feel more inspired to improve myself. given, i've always felt like i wasn't good enough, but now... yeah. you know. oh, i forgot cynthia's birthday thing is today. -_- fml. cynthia's awesome, but i wish i had some more alone time...
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| Tuesday, October 20, 2009 { not this fucking bullshit again. }he has nice eyes. fml. no chance, and i'd never say a thing of course.
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| Thursday, October 8, 2009 { }commitment. i realize (well, i've known for a while now) it's something i can't handle. upon finding out that i INDEED have the ability to attract people, somehow, i immediately pushed any possibility of that away. i look messy, unhealthy, unstylish and i look like an angry yankii who'll kick your ass if you so much as mention anything relaionship-related. i also look tired and disgusting in general. and i don't care enough to change that fact. though nowadays, i'm trying to look a bit better for the sake of my self-confidence. i'm a lazy, lazy friend. a few have accepted that (kriss, venus, fuzz, etc.), others not so much (that bitch i won't name, for example). i don't blame people for not being able to accept my inability to be a commited friend. it's just an example. i don't like the idea of being weak. i don't like being lesser. for some reason, despite knowing that it's 200X. it's not the 1800's, i feel as if i'd be viewed as weak. women/men are more or less equal. i don't understand why i can't get that notion to stick in my head in regards to ME. i feel like i'd look weak if i were in a relationship. but when i talk about other people's relationships, i always stress the idea of equality. i have no trouble being loyal to anyone. loyalty is nothing. yes, i gossip and i talk shit and crap, but not when it comes to things that matter or really private issues that really aren't of any concern to anyone else. "oh, she's loud in the morning." "she's bad at math. like me lol" "ugh she's so bad at econ. worse than me maybe" "i hate her voice. fuck" ← THAT SHIT does not matter in the end. loyalty isn't the issue. i'm trustworthy when it matters. if i were in a relationship, i'd easily be loyal to them. it's commitment in the eyes of SOCIETY. i'm not lovey-dovey... and i'm bad at keeping in touch, as kriss and fuzz would know. if i live far away from you or we don't have a common medium in which we can interact with one another through (example: jeyem & granado espada), then more likely than not, it'll be hard for me to keep in contact. i'm not cutesy. i'm not loving in the normal way. i'm not girly in any sense. yes, there are plenty of girls like this who have bfs. but it's also my inability to accept that ANYONE would like me, and as a result, push them away. it's low self-confidence i would assume. and guys don't like girls with low self-confidence, not like mine. and now, i've gone to the point that i don't even see if/when someone "likes" me. WHY? because i've made myself unbelievably unattractive, inside and out. i just wish i'd go back to my "ignorant" ways. when i didn't care so much if someone liked me. i'd grow healthily, mentally, instead of being stuck here like this. if i try to clean up my act, i will feel as if i'm trying to attract people. if i don't clean up my act, i'll continue feeling like shit. i don't even understand why i care so much about what other people think. i'm not even asexual; if it happens, it happens. but with the way things seem, i feel like my mind is trying to make me bipolar. like i really WANT to attract someone, and at the same time, i'd kill myself before i dated anyone. i just want to be normal. my "surface" personality is just fine. yes, i'm angry and irritable sometimes, but i've come a long way from last year. i can control it much better. i'm not too irritating. i'm tactless sometimes and i have bad timing, but i'm not a bad person. i get along with both girls and guys (guys better still, though). i want to be myself again. the old confidence i had as a middle school student. the brash, angry asian girl, but with maturity and tact i'd gained over the years. instead, i'm going backwards, still brash and angry, but with the mind of a scared, socially inept, gender-less recluse. every year had been a step backward and a tiptoe forward. i want this to change. the ME i like comes out when i'm with people/friends i'm comfortable with. the ME i hate comes out when i'm alone, "defenseless." always trying to seem tougher, more intelligent than i really am. why can't i just accept ME for ME? acceptance and admittance should be more than enough for my first step toward healthy personal growth. but i can't... i still can't show my true colors. i can't trust. i can't believe in myself. well, if it's any consolation to myself, once my ugly as fuck underground pimple on my nose is gone, i'm working toward cleaning up my fugly acne and pores. LOL.
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| Saturday, September 26, 2009 { }why the hell do i "attract"(i mean in every way, not ~romantic~ only) younger guys. i don't "like" younger guys. especially when they're younger than my kid brother (17). in fact, why do i get along with younger people better than i do with older people? it seriously was the other way around before. however, younger =/= immature. they're more mature than me. sad. LOL
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| Saturday, September 26, 2009 { vat }kristen stewart. i can't say much about her as an actor, but her behavior in public pisses me off. buuuut everything pisses me off, so that doesn't count. however, how the fuck is it possible to take on a role that you don't like? seriously? example: if i were an actress, i WOULD NOT take on a role of, say, nouhime of sengoku basara. why? because i ABHOR her character and i absolutely detest characters like her's in general. so. yes. plus she looks more fucked up than i do, and i look really shitty nowadays. as a celebrity, no, you don't need to look like eva longoria or uhh... taylor swift or some shit. but at least try to not look like you slept in a garbage disposal the night before. rocker look? yeah uh sure, go ahead. but you don't need to look like a black hair'd coke'd up cory kennedy. seriously, "punk"/"rock n' roll" =/= coke'd up bitch. in general, i don't like her much. however, if i were in her position, i'd be awkward and snappy as well to be frank. idk how to talk in public. lol
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| Wednesday, August 5, 2009 { i was typing this in lj, but i realize how much it might annoy people }So I was thinking about fandom friends. I find it damn hard to become good friends with people who I meet through fandoms. GE doesn't count-- because it's not... really a fandom. and I've met wonderful people through there who are really awesome, despite the lack of mutual interests. Though some have a huge amount of mutual interests surprisingly... For example, Jrock friends. I find it difficult to relate? Every fan I've met (in person, I mean, but I guess online counts too) so far... is either too hardcore immersed into Jrock or is stuck in specific genres of it... or they're extremely casual fans (or into the anime songs of the band). I'm not... in any of those categories. While yeah, I listen to Jrock a damn lot, I'm not really into the bands people are into. I hate ancafe... alicenine... etc. etc. And even with the bands that I AM in love with... I'm not in the fandoms. I'm not in any fandom. JE is another great example. I like motherfking Tackey & Tsubasa of all the groups. T&T, THE MORE UNDEREXPOSED SEMI-SENPAI/SENPAI GROUP OF ALL. (I like Arashi a damn lot too, but that doesn't count because I'm not up-to-date with them) I don't like the overzealous fans in the T&T fandom, but I'm not a casual fan either, as you know. How do I relate to these people? Some of the BNF are really arrogant, but at the same time, there are some who are really damn nice. But I can't RELATE to these people. Anime-- don't even get me started. I don't like anime as a whole. But obviously, I like some. Enough to pay 30 bucks to go a convention I otherwise want nothing to do with. I hate otaku, also. Fashion-- has anyone seen how I dress? I look half-assed. I'm definitely onii-kei inspired and somewhat vk inspired... but I don't... look it. I don't care enough. It's hard to relate to VK fashion fans when you don't dress the part. in other words, I'm not DEDICATED TO ANYTHING. I LOVE many things. Many many many things. But not enough to make any good lasting friends... especially irl. I don't know any MUCC/FAKE? fans. (not at the same time, in general) And even if I did, I doubt we'd have enough in common to become good friends. I can only become friends with people who aren't fandom-"based." IN OTHER WORDS, FEEL FREE TO LIKE WHAT YOU LIKE, BUT IT CANNOT BE THE BASIS OF OUR FRIENDSHIP. otherwise, it definitely won't work. IT'S EITHER THAT OR... I haven't met anyone whose interests are mutual and... also has a compatible personality. It's hard to get along really well with me. You have to be very very tolerant AND tolerable around me. Why the fuck am I such a difficult person.
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| Monday, July 20, 2009 { um. huh. }i had a dream michael jackson (black version. thriller version.) was at my old apartment singing billie jean. and ummm kriss was emo about something, idk what. but it was a really weird dream. i was eating semi-rotten corn. and there was a fire at a restaurant and they had a weird code for getting people to put out the fire. also, i dreamt that nami dove next to a bottomless waterfall. her sister was kind of scared for her. i'm trip'd out. weirdass dream. also had a dream my chars in ge died (cuz i left them afk). but... they were killed by fat... lowbie monsters. and my chars were real. idek. i'mma go back to sleep. weirdass dream.
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| Thursday, July 16, 2009 { abingdon boys school }normally i hate you, because what i listened by you guys sounds so boring and plain, but SERIOUSLY? JAP IS SUCH A GOOD SONG. SO DAMN CATCHY. LIKE THE CHORUS. FUCKKKKKKKKK. GR8 SHIT.
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| Tuesday, July 7, 2009 { MJ }i was never a huge MJ fan (aside from beat it, for all the wrong reasons too--animutation). and from that simpsons episode where he was a fat white guy. i was wow'd to hell by his singing. anyway what matters now is that i respect MJ a lot more than before. i mean i never hated him or anything in particular, but i didn't care much? i've been missing out on some DAMN catchy music. i mean i heard a lot of his popular songs already, but only snippets. i been missing out. also, what his daughter said made me pretty much bawl because i can relate. VIVA MJ, you're awesumm. and the artists of our generation can't even compare. HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU COMPARE LADY FUCKING GAGA TO MJ? SERIOUSLY? WOW. don't even go there.
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| Saturday, July 4, 2009 { SENGOKU BASARA IS SERIOUS SHIT }thank you to the anon for the following: Yes, the story is complete shit and the characters are shit too. So what? Not all anime should be like Monster, LoGH or Stand Alone Complex (Don't get me wrong, those are godly shows). Sengoku Basara is complete nonsense but its still damn fun and entertaining to watch. Not everything should me serious and mature. It's nice to watch shows like these. That's why many people like Code Geass or TTGL.@WOW these people have issues. a lot.
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| Wednesday, June 10, 2009 { anti-semite? maybe? or the media churning the middle eastern territory issue? white supremacy? ou gad. }the amount of political blahblah makes my head hurt like no other. it's ridiculous.
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| Tuesday, June 9, 2009 { err }in regards to the recent loli_secrets #27 (june 7, 2009) about loving alice in wonderland despite not having read the book. i agree, but i haven't read it either and... i love alice in wonderland. why? because i grew up with it (not the disney version, a chinese version of the book). but as far as loving the NOVEL goes, not rly. i wouldn't know. i haven't read it yet, but i plan to very soon. idk if this exempts me, but mehhh idc. i just love things associated with my childhood. like ninja turtles and shit.
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| Tuesday, May 26, 2009 { most crazy as fuck dream i've had in a while }so i don't know how the dream starts, but i remember being in the cafeteria for lunch or something. i was over the counter, trying to get some food on the other side, and lisa and someone else wouldn't help me at all. like they even took all the fking food. i got all pissed. D: sabby was there too... and a clock. he agreed with me and shit. i remember being really depressed a bit after. francis tried to cheer me up (yeah, you read right) by adding needyourxtreme to my restaurant city shit on facebook. first of all, francis doesn't play that and he can't hire workers for me. second of all, i realize my friend's name is lame. third... wut. i remember saying to him "waattt don't hire nyxxxx." it was weird. then i got a notification that said francis was adding me to something? and he got all scared and asked me if anyone else knew about that e-mail (it was his secret alternative one, i guess). and i said no. D: i complained that i didn't have anymore clean socks, but i recall wearing clean as fk socks. then i remember lily calling me and telling me to eat dinner, which is normal. lol fenny and i walked outside over to where she was with bat po, but she was STILL doing homework. i was like "dude, if you're gonna be doing hw still, like call me later? D:" and i got frustrated because she was expecting us to wait another 20 mins. i was like fk dat, and i'm not too clear on what really happened in those 20 minutes while i "slept," but i remember waking up in fenny's room? but i do remember something about my phone being whacked out, and someone saying it was broken. i also remember shaving my pits without shaving cream and as a result, i got an ingrown hair. D: wut. i "woke up" and saw one of my mum's coworkers, aged and all, struggling to carry a case of water, so i helped him. a bunch of macho dudes were also carrying heavy shit. we were in west lothian, and we were walking down down down stairs. the stairs weren't like the ones we have nao. the walls were all concrete and shit. we went to like the basement, but it was different of course. jessica was there and she cheered me and w/e. weird as hell. she was a volunteer too or something, apparently. she was like "you probably missed dinner" and we went off to eat. funny thing is, the place we went to... it was daytime there. i excused myself to the restroom. it was a ttly different building by the way. all concrete inside. i had to go through a giant stairway and like... i guess i peed afterwards in a giant restroom. the room itself was huge, with just a normal toilet and sink. each restroom had its own individual room, not like a normal public restroom. so like when i got to the restroom floor in the building, each restroom had its own room and shit. D: i don't remember going upstairs necessarily? but i remember being back in fenny's room or something. i decided to take a bath. i went once again down stairs through that concrete building and went to the public bath there. once again, each bath/shower had its own room. it was all dingy and creepy. i chose the room number 314 because of my dorm room. lol then like there was a door right? but once inside, there was no door, only panels to hide some areas. hence public bath. while i was moving the panels so it'd hide as much of me as possible, i looked outside the communal? area and 3-6 people were toweling off over there, so i felt more relieved people were around. so like while i was on the open side of the shower, who i guess was the manager/owner lady, opened the other side and said loudly "oh, there's a girl in here!" she was really tall and pretty. D: i think it may have been tyra banks now that i think about it. she talked exactly like her. LOL and let's see... while i was getting ready to shower, she called me pretty and asked if i wanted to hear her talk about her shoes. i guess i said yes? later, she started asking me if the decorations in the bath were nice enough. the ceiling had TBC
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| Thursday, May 21, 2009 { its situations like this that bring out the worst in a person. }today, i learned that jealousy affects me as well. it's something that normally doesn't affect me much, not to this extent anyway. not to the point of wanting to physically harm babies (i wouldn't rly, but that's how bad my anger is). this is interesting. very interesting. i never knew i had this in me.
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| Thursday, May 21, 2009 { wow. }i've never felt so much despair over something like this. never.
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| Tuesday, May 19, 2009 { truth }i can't help that i'm brutally honest about myself and others. yes, i don't tell people everything--that's downright idiotic. but if asked, i more or less tell them the truth. or part of it (because who in their right mind tells everything?). i can't help it if people take advantage of my honesty. i honestly don't know what the fuck to say to these people. i can't help that i trust easily. i also can't help that while i'm trusting, at the same time, i also don't trust at all. i don't know who to trust and how much to trust and i can't help it. i really can't help it. if you know what the fuck has happened to me, you'd understand why.
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| Wednesday, May 6, 2009 { identity. (with bad grammarz, yes) }i grew up primarily with mexicans, but among the people i grew up with, there were many blacks, koreans, filipinos and others as well. i recall being one of the, if not THE only (aside from my brother), few chinese people in the entire school and neighborhood. i recall being taunted and jeered at for it, by my own neighbors as well. i remember wanted to be filipino or mexican, so i could at least be normal. i remember claiming that perhaps my grandfather on my mother's side was part filipino or something, so that i'd have at least some normalcy in my blood. i remember learning tagalog and spanish, so i knew when someone said anything negative about me. then i changed schools and the atmosphere was completely different. chinese people were everywhere, yet they still shunned me. people didn't judge me for my ethnicity, but for how i dressed because i dressed primarily like a boy. countless almost-physical fights later, i was finally somewhat "accepted." at the same time, while i was assimilated, i differentiated myself by embracing my taishan(or as i prefer to call it, HUISAN) heritage, which is quite different from the cookie cutter cantonese everyone else seemed to take pride in. and now, i dress... in casual yet alternative clothing. people assume i listen to rock and rock only, and assume that "i only like japanese things" by my room. they don't believe me when i tell them i don't watch anime, hardly read manga, have little or no desire to marry a japanese man, listen to classical, enjoy lounge music, and would rather go to europe or china first than japan. i pride myself in having grown up in such a diverse and rich neighborhood, in speaking a really heavy chinese accent, and in liking a variety of things who most people assume i'd never take interest in. i take pride in being looked at weirdly and having people assume i'm a crazy, violent, unapproachable maniac, only to find that i'm harmless, idiotic, and hilariously irritable. identity is a funny thing.
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| Wednesday, April 22, 2009 { 日本語を勉強する }今日の天気はすずしくなる。まだすずしくないけど，よかったと思う。今日の空はきれい、でも雲がない。 ところで僕の日本語はとてもこどもっぽいけど、がんばります。勉強しています。
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| Tuesday, April 21, 2009 { it's reading shit like this that makes it hard for me to trust anyone at all }crap like this. shit on the news of "nice people" killing others. why the fuck can't you psycho's have a damn neon sign so that us normal people can live in peace? so that i don't have to live in fear of meeting people? fuck you crazy motherfuckers to hell.
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| Wednesday, April 15, 2009 { }i don't want to meet him anymore. :/
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| Tuesday, March 24, 2009 { wtf arashi dream }so i had a dream arashi gave me a birthday present. it was a weird... bulletin board type of thing, in the form of a blanket. so you hang the blanket up and post your notes on it and shit. idk? then they gave me like a plushie/pillow type thing. i don't know. i remember distinctly ohno and aiba. i hugged aiba because he was closest, but he ummm. turned around. and. D: you know, those corny drama/shojo type things. it happened. :/ his lips were ridiculously soft. LOL i was like wtf in my dream too. afterwards, i bought something to give back to arashi. errr. dunno. but i was going to customize it, apparently. i have no idea why i had a dream about arashi when the only johnny's news i've been reading is about T&T. :| lol
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| Wednesday, March 11, 2009 { people can't read. }STOP SENDING MY PACKAGES TO MY HOME ADDRESS. I MAKE IT DAMN CLEAR TO SEND IT TO MY DORM, YOU DIPSHITS. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST.
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| Thursday, February 26, 2009 { FUCK YOU FUCKING ASSHOLES. }WHY THE FUCK DO PEOPLE GO AROUND MAKING DECISIONS ON THEIR OWN WITHOUT FUCKING LETTING ME KNOW. IF YOU WANT TO MAKE A FUCKING DECISION LIKE THAT, LET ME FUCKING KNOW. DON'T STRING ME ALONG LETTING ME THINK I HAD A FUCKING CHOICE AND WASTE MY GODDAMNED TIME. FOR 2 WEEKS I WAS GENERALLY CONTENT AND ANOTHER FUCKING PERSON FUCKS ME OVER. YEAH. FUCKING THANKS. THANKS A LOT.
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| Saturday, February 21, 2009 { uggghh }i had a really disgusting dream about having LARGE pimples down both my legs. like they were next to each other and in groups of at least... 50 at a time. oh my god, if i wasn't dreaming and if it were real, i'd probably scratch the fuck out of my legs. i hate the way pimples look (well i always hate them, but i've never seen them so uniform... and big and RED)... when they're like that. ugh. ugggghhhhhhhhhhhh. also dreamt that i bought too many random skeleton/skull things when i thought i'd be buying piratical stuff. well found some weird goth guy to buy it. went somewhere with stairs and people were flipping the people off in the other stairs. then uhhh. stacy was in the dream too. lol so random. it was a really... random dream. something about me and my mui hiding from cyclists too. lol idk. i fell asleep accidentally... slept for... idk. 8/9 hours or something. ended up forgetting to do laundry. :[[[ but i got good sleep...
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| Wednesday, February 18, 2009 { gudonya too }WOO. i got my gudonya bath products. they smell awesome. but i haven't used them yet. !! i will use them tonight. can't wait to use the nail scrub, 'cause my nails are disgustingly dry. D:
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| Sunday, February 15, 2009 { i've needed an umbrella for a while now }i bought a new umbrella. it's fabulous, but it's kind of too big. lol black and white. yes, i HAD to blog about this. i had to. yes.
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| Friday, February 13, 2009 { 9goats black out }it's so unfortunate their vocalist is fucking annoying. I'D ABSOLUTELY LOVE THEM. they sound amazing, but their vocalist pisses me the fuck off. so damn nasal. ugh.
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| Friday, February 13, 2009 { poo }so. i woke up today and went back to sleep again. as usual. i napped and dreamt about ghosts, what the fuck. something about "hey, they're gone now." talking about it. but not looking at/interacting with any or anything like that. today is friday the 13th. nice timing. :///
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| Wednesday, February 11, 2009 { }i got a b on my japanese midterm and an a- on my english essay. YES. well, i'm aiming for an a in japanese. it's only japanese 2, so i shouldn't let my laziness get the better of me. te form is annoying as fuck.
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| Tuesday, February 10, 2009 { ge sig }
they changed servers. this is a shiny update of where i am. i have more characters, but i'm not really training them yet. my wiz is getting up there. i hope to get him to 80 soon, but i haven't been training him lately. mostly training adelina. training lorch right now. i hope to level my lisa too soon. i need to increase my barrack slots so i can make more. maybe i'll make a musketeer. (i deleted mine for lorch)
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| Tuesday, February 10, 2009 { epic. }kefkldsfnlkfdsklfskjkfsldsfkjds. it's gonna so difficult for me to trust anyone now.
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| Sunday, February 8, 2009 { oh, fuck off already. }if all you can do is make empty promises, then just GET THE FUCK OUT of my life already. seriously, you're such a fucking eyesore. i thought maybe we could at least be "decent" friends but it's just impossible with how much of an inconsiderate fuck you're being. just fuck off.
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| Sunday, February 8, 2009 { t&t }wtf, i had a dream with t&t in it. !! it had something to do with them in a magazine and i was trying to look for a nicer picture of them to promote them or something. idk. woo, i misssed having them in my dreams.
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| Thursday, February 5, 2009 { it's raining. tomorrow, too. }i've got a cold. it's freezing outside. it's raining on and off. i feel miserable. tired. fed up. betrayed. irritated. i hate this school. it's brought so much misery into my life and fucked me up so bad. i've met people i completely regret ever meeting. i've found out things about people i never wanted to know. i was blissfully happy before coming here, and now i'm an absolute disaster. i fucking hate it here. and i wish i had real friends for once. i fucking hate this. fuck this bullshit. fuck it all. i'm insecure, alone(not lonely, but it's getting there), tired, paranoid. a fucking disaster. where i had friends at the beginning, i now have practically none. i would be perfectly fine in the beginning had it not been HER. it's made me somewhat dependent on people, and totally fucked up my ~independence~ i don't even have taiko to distract me because i quit this year (joining next year again). i've basically cut myself off from the world and i don't know how to return. i have crap social skills (well they're okay, but sometimes i'm retarded). but i'd like to make new friends so i can detach from all this bullshit and all the people who have screwed me over so badly. ugh. fuck this bullshit. i honestly could care less if anyone calls me emo. i've gone through some stupid shit this school year, and being already emotionally fucked, it's amplified my social idiocy. i'll just do my best to make new friends who aren't fake, conniving cunts.
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| Tuesday, February 3, 2009 { haha }i've now met someone WORSE than HER. worse. far worse. more fake than the fakest bitch alive. i am amused.
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| Thursday, January 22, 2009 { oh my fucking god. }so we just got back from that lip sync battle of the halls thing and a whole shitload of people were getting arrest in our hall. like wtf. earlier, some hallmates smelled some pot and shit, so like. yeah, it was kind of expected. BUT THEN, this girl walked into our room and asked to borrow it for a minute (to talk on the phone). and we were like w/e, but then two other girls came in and closed the door. and one of them had pot. what the fuck. they tried to hide it in my mattress and in bat po's pocket. the fuck. but they threw it out the window after. and the cop knocked on our door and we didn't open it. uhh. i don't want to get in trouble. so after a while, they left. and their guy friends said all this shit about us snitching or some crap, and WE OBVIOUSLY DID NOT FUCKING SNITCH. UH. WE KIND OF HID 3 OF YOUR GIRLS, YOU DIPSHIT. had andy call zahir and told him the gist of it. i'm glad our hall has me and bat po's back. because fuck if i get in trouble for something as retarded as this. those fucking asians better not start shit either.
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| Saturday, January 17, 2009 { }elemental lord is really cool, but the bracelets are weak and ridiculously slow, so i'm stuck with this... slow... elementalist who can run and still use chain lightning. by the way, is chain lightning wonky or is it just me? he doesn't fucking do it when i command it and it takes like 4 tries for him to even do it properly. i mean wtf man. right now, i'm thinking about training a musk. possibly. i don't like grace much. but we'll see. i'm using heaven and hell, and i'm in love with it. plus, i just want to try something new. i didn't know bullets were THAT cheap, so i hated musks. but they're not so bad. and they help lvl really quick. i need to start getting highest grade glazium. my guys are almost 80. 77 now. !!
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| Wednesday, January 14, 2009 { one piece is so much more epic than your shounen series. }YEAH, THAT MEANS YOU, NARUTO. BLEACH. I LIKE NARUTO, BUT. BLEACH IS THE SINGLE MOST BORING THING EVER. ONE PIECE FOR LIIIIIIIIIIIIFFFFFFFFFFFFFEEEEEEE.
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| Friday, January 9, 2009 { empyreus faction }is full of trigger-happy, shit-starting dickheads and fucktards. i said it. the fuck you gonna do about it. my family name is lloydworth. FUCK ME UP IF YOU CAN, YOU DOUCHEBAGS. ps. i'm very serious. most of you people are fucking assholes. every douchebag i've met is from that faction. man, you pieces of shit are tidiculously annoying. pps. when i'm a high enough level, i'll convince my faction leader (whoever it may be, but at the moment, it's kongofthieves) to start war with those motherfuckers. god damn, they are annoying.
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| Thursday, January 8, 2009 { granado espada }
my family at the moment. :] i have 5 other people, but i don't even use them. what a waste... D: i might delete my musketeer, since he's level 12. and i don't like musketeers because of the bullets and shit. sigh. well, we'll see. my wiz is catching up though. as soon as i hit 80 with my main guys, then i'll commit to training my wiz to around 72, at least. since i'll need him later on for faction wars and crap and i just like wizards for buffing and debuffing and shit. wait, does he debuff? whatever. i'll have to save up for vet scrolls... sigh... so fucking expensive. oh, and i might get silver/white hair for wiz. 'cause i want something different. haha. but that's way in the future. :[ for now, i'll work hard on getting my main group to 80. i want elemental lord. !! but fucking maintenance aftermath isn't looking too good. i should read one piece instead or something. or uhh... fics. idk.
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| Tuesday, January 6, 2009 { ugh. web designer, my ass. }errr. i don't understand people who think they're the shit at html/css and yet ttly forget everything if they don't touch notepad for like 3 months. i can not do anything web design related for 2 years and still do what i do. that and it's stupid to make layouts from scratch and not use old codes/websites. it doesn't make you any less a designer if you use tutorial sites. plus, i keep forgetting font types/styles/w/e... rofl. but i otherwise can code just fine without "losing my touch." graphics block, though, i completely understand.
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| Thursday, January 1, 2009 { granado espada }i swear like i made personalities for my characters on ge. like... they sound that way too. so i'm writing them down so i can laugh at myself 5 years from now.
keiichi - figher
yuu - scout
aurelio - elementalist
alistair - wizard yeah, i'm fucked in the head. also, gracielo reminds me of franky. like A LOT. their personalities are really similar too... why is everyone always gay. why. well, keiichi is like. straighter than straight. his gay moments are pretty mild. uhh. yuu is prob bi, 'cause he likes them boobies a lot. aurelio is prob pansexual. lol alistair is no doubt gay though, he's just faking the "ttly bi" crap. WHY AM I SO FUCKED IN THE HEAD. this is lame.
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| Thursday, January 1, 2009 { tackey & tsubasa }i know t&t weren't together at countdown. which is... weird. but to think tsubasa wasn't introduced. what the hell. one thing i'm so glad to read from tsubaholic's blog is that fans cheered hella loud for tsubasa. louder than kat-tun. omg. i'm so glad fans are kind enough to do that. i'm so glad there was a good amount of tsubasa fans too. and i hope this bit of information isn't biased. wtf is this, johnny. you asshole.
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| Tuesday, December 30, 2008 { }i can't hate chris crocker. i don't get how anyone could take him so seriously. lol he's hilarious.
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| Monday, December 29, 2008 { kavetsky rescheduled to a different time block. }AND YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW FUCKING RELIEVED I AM TO NOT TAKE HER. HERE I WAS STRESSING OUT ABOUT OTHER AVAILABLE ENGLISH 1B CLASSES, WHEN RESCHEDULING WENT IN MY FAVOR. yes. i hope the teacher is not a cunt.
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| Friday, December 26, 2008 { I AM HUNGRY. }i will eat instant ramen with 87% sodium. yes, i feel like an oily pig. but my dumbass mui ate all the pizza.
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| Friday, December 26, 2008 { seriously though. }jacky is mother fuckin' cute. like. idk anyone cuter. then again, he's like. a year younger than me. it MIGHT account for his cuteness. ...yeah, no. i'm older than him, yet hella more stupid. but that's beside the point. and for the umpteenth time, seriously. i don't like him. i really, really don't. but man, he is fucking cute! lol
me: hallo? ahh, i love that boy. so cute. lolll
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